Monday, June 2, 2025

The Shadow Side of Leadership: Embracing Your Inner Saboteur

How unconscious fears sabotage success and why your greatest leadership growth lies in the dark

Picture this: You're in the boardroom, confident and composed, when suddenly someone challenges your quarterly projections. Your chest tightens. Your voice gets sharper. Before you know it, you're defending numbers that honestly... could use some work. Later, you'll wonder why you got so reactive. Why you couldn't just say, "Good point, let's dig into that."

Welcome to your shadow side - that part of you operating behind the scenes, pulling strings you didn't even know existed.

Here's what most leadership development programs won't tell you: The biggest threat to your leadership isn't your competition, market conditions, or even that difficult board member. It's the unconscious patterns running your decision-making process. Carl Jung called this the "shadow" - those aspects of ourselves we've buried so deep we don't even recognize them anymore.

The stats are sobering. While 95% of leaders believe they're self-aware, research shows only 10-15% actually are. That gap? That's where leadership careers go to die. Where promising initiatives implode. Where teams lose trust in leaders who seemed so capable on paper.

But here's the thing - your shadow isn't your enemy. It's your untapped potential, waiting to be integrated into your conscious leadership practice. The very patterns that sabotage you today can become your greatest strengths tomorrow. It just requires the courage to look in the mirror and embrace what you see there.

The Hidden Psychology Behind Leadership Self-Sabotage

Ever watch a high-performing leader completely derail their own success? It's more common than you'd think. The same drive that propels someone to the C-suite often contains the seeds of their eventual undoing.

Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung understood this paradox. He defined the shadow as "an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself". In leadership terms, this translates to the fears, desires, and beliefs that drive your decisions from behind the curtain.

Think about it neurologically. Research shows that 95% of our decisions happen unconsciously, processed by brain regions we have little direct access to. Your amygdala - that ancient alarm system - doesn't distinguish between a saber-toothed tiger and a challenging question from your CFO. It just fires off the same survival responses that kept our ancestors alive but can make modern leaders look... well, reactive.

The global leadership development market has grown to $366 billion precisely because organizations are finally recognizing this gap. Companies are pouring resources into programs that address not just what leaders do, but why they do it. Harvard Business Publishing's 2024 study found that 70% of organizations say their leaders need to master a wider range of behaviors to meet current business needs.

But here's where it gets interesting: The very traits that made you successful can become your shadow's favorite weapons. That perfectionism that drove you to excel? It can morph into micromanagement that suffocates your team. The confidence that got you promoted? It might be blocking you from hearing feedback that could elevate your leadership to the next level.

The neuroscience is clear - when you overuse a strength, you tap into its shadow. What once propelled your rise starts working against you, often without you realizing it's happening.

Unconscious Fears That Secretly Drive Leadership Decisions

Let's get uncomfortably honest for a moment. Behind every leadership decision lurks a question: What am I afraid of?

Fear of failure manifests as that manager who can't delegate, convinced that if they don't personally oversee every detail, the project will crash and burn. Fear of rejection shows up as the people-pleasing leader who can't make tough decisions because someone might be upset. Fear of inadequacy drives the defensive reactions to feedback - because if you're wrong about this, what else might you be wrong about?

These aren't character flaws. They're survival mechanisms that served you well... until they didn't.

Consider the biology at play. When your nervous system perceives threat - real or imagined - it shifts into what psychologists call the four F's: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. In leadership contexts, this translates to controlling behaviors (fight), avoidance of difficult conversations (flight), decision paralysis (freeze), or excessive accommodation (fawn).

The tricky part? These responses happen faster than conscious thought. Your amygdala fires, stress hormones flood your system, and suddenly you're making decisions from a place of protection rather than possibility.

I've watched brilliant leaders torpedo important meetings because someone questioned their expertise. Their childhood fear of not being smart enough gets triggered, and before they know it, they're being defensive instead of curious. The room notices. Trust erodes. Opportunities disappear.

The patterns run deep. That executive who grew up with a critical parent might unconsciously recreate those dynamics with their team, becoming hypercritical themselves. The leader who learned early that emotions were weakness might struggle to connect authentically with their people, creating an environment where psychological safety is impossible.

What makes this particularly insidious is that these fear-based patterns often produce short-term results. Micromanagement might catch some mistakes. People-pleasing might avoid immediate conflict. But the long-term costs - team disengagement, innovation suppression, trust erosion - compound over time.

The Real Cost of Unconscious Leadership on Team Performance

The numbers don't lie about unconscious leadership's impact on the bottom line.

Organizations with engaged leadership see 21% higher profitability. Meanwhile, bad leadership can cost companies nearly 10% of their annual sales. But here's the kicker - only 29% of employees perceive their leaders as demonstrating genuine human leadership.

That gap represents billions in lost potential.

When leaders operate from their shadow, it creates what psychologists call "toxic systems". The unconscious patterns don't stay contained to the corner office - they ripple throughout the organization like emotional viruses. A micromanaging CEO breeds micromanaging VPs who breed micromanaging directors, and suddenly innovation dies at every level.

Take the phenomenon of shadow projection. When a leader can't face their own inadequacies, they often project those qualities onto others. The marketing team becomes "unfocused" while operations is "too rigid." What started as internal shadow work becomes inter-departmental warfare, with the leader unconsciously casting departments in roles that mirror their own internal conflicts.

The human cost is equally devastating. Research shows that 31% of employees agree their leaders actively foster a psychologically safe environment. When people don't feel safe to bring their authentic selves to work, you lose access to their best thinking, their creative solutions, their willingness to take intelligent risks.

I've seen entire teams walk on eggshells around a leader who couldn't handle being wrong. Innovation ground to a halt because nobody wanted to propose ideas that might challenge the status quo. The leader wondered why their "high-performing" team never brought them breakthrough thinking. The answer was sitting in their own shadow - a fear of being challenged that had unconsciously trained everyone to stay small.

The retention impact is particularly brutal. Fifty-nine percent of organizations report improved retention due to leadership development programs that address these deeper patterns. But companies that ignore the shadow side continue hemorrhaging talent. High performers leave not because of salary or benefits, but because they can't thrive under unconscious leadership.

The most tragic part? Many of these leaders have no idea they're the problem. They see the symptoms - low engagement, high turnover, missed targets - but can't connect them to their own unconscious patterns. They call it a "people problem" or "market conditions" while the real issue stares back at them from the mirror every morning.

How to Identify Your Leadership Shadow Behaviors

Recognition is the first step toward integration. But how do you see what you've spent years not seeing?

Start with your triggers. Leadership coach Lolly Daskal notes that what once worked to propel your rise can start working against you. Pay attention to moments when you feel activated - defensive, controlling, withdrawn, or people-pleasing. These emotional reactions are breadcrumbs leading back to your shadow.

Here are eight common leadership shadow patterns that derail success:

Hesitating to make decisions - Often rooted in fear of being wrong or perfectionist tendencies that demand complete information before acting.

Micromanaging teams - Usually stems from fear of loss of control or deep-seated beliefs that others can't perform to your standards.

Avoiding difficult conversations - Typically driven by fear of conflict, rejection, or damaging relationships.

Defensive reactions to feedback - Points to fear of inadequacy or shame around not being perfect.

Excessive people-pleasing - Often masks fear of rejection or abandonment, leading to boundary violations.

Perfectionism paralysis - Can indicate fear of failure or shame around making mistakes.

Controlling communication - Usually reflects fear of vulnerability or losing control of narrative.

Blame and projection - Often covers fear of taking responsibility or facing personal limitations.

The mirror exercise can be particularly revealing. Write down the name of someone who really irritates you. List their most annoying qualities. Now ask yourself: Where do these traits show up in your own behavior? What you resist in others often reveals your shadow.

Your body offers clues too. Notice where you feel tension during challenging leadership moments. Does your chest tighten during confrontation? Do you feel heavy in your stomach when making decisions? These physical responses often signal shadow activation.

Feedback becomes invaluable here. Leaders in the top quartile of self-awareness are 10% more effective than those in the bottom quartile. But you have to actively seek it out. Create safe spaces for people to tell you truth about your impact. And when they do, resist the urge to defend or explain. Just listen.

The most reliable indicator? Repeated patterns. If you keep experiencing the same types of conflicts, if certain feedback themes keep emerging, if you notice consistent energy drains in specific situations - your shadow is trying to get your attention.

Transforming Your Inner Saboteur from Enemy to Ally

Here's where most leadership development gets it wrong: They try to eliminate the shadow instead of integrating it.

Your inner saboteur isn't broken. It's a protective mechanism that served you well at some point but has outlived its usefulness. That micromanaging tendency? It might have developed when you were in a high-stakes environment where attention to detail literally saved projects. The people-pleasing pattern? Could have been essential for navigating a family system where conflict felt dangerous.

The goal isn't to release these parts of yourself. It's to consciously choose when and how to engage them.

Integration follows a four-stage process:

Awareness: Recognizing the pattern without immediately trying to fix it. Simply notice when your inner saboteur shows up.

Acceptance: Understanding the shadow's protective intention. What was this pattern trying to accomplish? How did it serve you?

Integration: Finding constructive channels for the shadow's energy. How can you use that protective instinct in service of your leadership rather than against it?

Action: Making conscious choices from this integrated awareness rather than unconscious reactions.

Consider a leader I worked with who struggled with controlling behavior. Instead of trying to eliminate her need for control, we explored what it was protecting. Turns out, growing up in chaos had taught her that vigilance prevented disaster. That hypervigilance, channeled consciously, became an extraordinary ability to spot potential problems before they became crises. Same energy, different application.

The transformation requires self-compassion. Carl Jung said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate". But making the unconscious conscious is vulnerable work. You're essentially befriending parts of yourself you've been at war with.

Practical steps for this transformation include developing a curious relationship with your reactions. When you feel triggered, pause and ask: "What is this protecting? What does this part of me need?" Often, the answer reveals wisdom you can integrate into your conscious leadership practice.

Remember - your shadow contains not just your repressed weaknesses but also your hidden strengths. Jung called these "golden shadows" - positive qualities you've disowned because they didn't fit your self-image. The leader who disowns their sensitivity might be cutting themselves off from crucial emotional intelligence. The one who rejects their intensity might be suppressing the passion that could inspire their team.

Shadow Integration: The Path to Conscious Leadership

Conscious leadership isn't about perfection. It's about awareness. It's the difference between being driven by unconscious patterns and making choices from a place of integrated self-knowledge.

The journey follows predictable stages:

Unconscious incompetence: You're unaware of your shadow's impact. Things keep going wrong, but you can't figure out why.

Conscious incompetence: You start recognizing your patterns but feel powerless to change them. This stage can be frustrating but it's progress.

Conscious competence: You actively manage your shadow patterns, catching yourself in real-time and making different choices.

Unconscious competence: Integration becomes natural. You lead from a place of wholeness without constant self-monitoring.

Most leaders get stuck between stages two and three. They see their patterns but feel overwhelmed by the work of changing them. This is where self-compassion becomes crucial. You're not trying to become a different person - you're becoming more fully yourself.

Conscious leadership creates measurable business outcomes. Research shows these leaders build higher-trust teams, make better decisions under pressure, and create psychological safety that drives innovation. They model emotional intelligence, which research links to better team performance and higher profitability.

The ripple effects extend beyond the immediate team. Conscious leaders create cultures where shadow work becomes normalized. Instead of toxic organizations built on projection and unconscious patterns, you get environments where people can bring their full selves to work - shadows and all.

This doesn't mean becoming a therapy group. It means creating space for human complexity. It means acknowledging that everyone has triggers, blindspots, and growth edges. When leaders model this kind of integrated awareness, it gives permission for others to do the same.

Practical Shadow Work Techniques for Executive Leaders

Shadow work doesn't require years of therapy. It requires consistent, mindful practice integrated into your leadership routine.

Morning Self-Reflection (10 minutes): Before diving into emails, ask yourself: "What am I bringing to today? What fears or concerns am I carrying? How might these show up in my leadership?"

Trigger Journaling: Throughout the day, notice when you feel activated. Note the situation, your physical response, and the story you're telling yourself. Look for patterns over time.

Body Awareness: Your nervous system often knows before your mind does. Practice tuning into physical sensations during challenging moments. Tight chest might signal fear. Heavy stomach could indicate overwhelm.

Mindful Leadership Moments: Before important conversations or decisions, pause. Take three conscious breaths. Ask: "Am I responding or reacting? What does this situation require from my highest self?"

The Daily Debrief: End each day by reflecting on moments when you felt most aligned and most reactive. What patterns emerge? What would you do differently?

Accountability Systems: Partner with a trusted colleague or coach for regular check-ins about your shadow patterns. External perspective can spot blindspots you miss.

Shadow Work Buddy System: Find another leader committed to this work. Meet monthly to discuss patterns, challenges, and insights. Sometimes the most powerful learning happens in relationship.

The key is consistency over intensity. Five minutes of daily awareness beats a weekend workshop you never follow up on. Start with one pattern - maybe that tendency to interrupt in meetings or the way you tense up during conflict. Practice noticing it without judgment. Once awareness becomes natural, you can begin making different choices.

Remember, you're not trying to become perfect. You're becoming conscious. There's a difference between a leader who never gets triggered and one who notices they're triggered and responds appropriately. The latter is much more powerful - and much more human.

The Vulnerability Paradox: How Embracing Weakness Creates Strength

Here's the ultimate leadership paradox: Your willingness to be vulnerable actually makes you stronger.

Research by Brené Brown and others shows that teams with vulnerable leaders demonstrate higher psychological safety, increased innovation, and better performance. But this isn't about oversharing or weakness - it's about authentic connection through shared humanity.

When you admit you don't have all the answers, your team stops pretending they do too. When you acknowledge your growth edges, you give others permission to have their own. When you model curiosity about your shadow patterns, you create cultures where learning is valued over image management.

I've watched leaders transform their teams by simply saying, "I realized I was being defensive in that meeting. I was feeling insecure about the numbers and it made me react poorly. Let's revisit that conversation." The relief in the room was palpable. Finally, a human being instead of a perfect leadership facade.

This vulnerability requires discernment. You're not dumping your psychological material on your team. You're modeling integrated self-awareness. You're showing that great leaders aren't those without shadows - they're those who know their shadows well enough to work with them consciously.

The business case is compelling. Authentic leadership correlates with increased employee engagement, lower turnover, and higher team performance. When people feel they can bring their real selves to work - shadows and all - they bring their best thinking, their creative solutions, their willingness to take intelligent risks.

The courage to be vulnerable as a leader creates what psychologists call "earned security." Your team learns they can trust you not because you're perfect, but because you're real. They know you'll tell them the truth about challenges because you tell the truth about yourself.

This doesn't happen overnight. Vulnerability is a muscle that develops with practice. Start small. Acknowledge when you're uncertain instead of pretending to know. Share learning moments instead of only victories. Ask for feedback instead of assuming you have it figured out.

The leaders who master this paradox understand that strength isn't the absence of weakness - it's the integration of your whole self in service of something larger than your ego.

Final Thoughts:

Your shadow isn't your enemy. It's your unintegrated wisdom, waiting for the courage to be claimed.

Every unconscious pattern that sabotages your leadership today contains the seeds of your next breakthrough. That controlling tendency could become strategic precision. The people-pleasing could transform into genuine empathy. The perfectionism might evolve into inspiring standards that elevate everyone around you.

The path forward isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming more fully yourself - shadows and all. It's about leading from a place of integrated awareness rather than unconscious reaction. It's about having the courage to do the inner work that creates outer transformation.

Carl Jung said it best: "The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." For leaders, this isn't just personal development - it's a business imperative. In a world that demands authentic connection, emotional intelligence, and the ability to navigate complexity with grace, shadow work isn't optional. It's the difference between leading from fear and leading from wholeness.

The leaders who will thrive in the years ahead are those willing to turn toward their shadows with curiosity instead of judgment. They understand that their greatest liability, when consciously integrated, becomes their greatest asset.

Your inner saboteur has been trying to protect you. It's time to thank it for its service and show it a new way to contribute. Your leadership - and everyone who follows you - depends on it.

The shadow work starts now. Not because you're broken, but because you're ready to be whole.

--

References:

  1. University of Connecticut Leadership Institute - "Encountering Our Leadership Shadow" - https://leadership.uconn.edu/2014/10/24/encountering-our-leadership-shadow/
  2. The Society of Analytical Psychology - "The Jungian Shadow" - https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/about-analysis-and-therapy/the-shadow/
  3. High Existence - "Shadow Self and Carl Jung: The Ultimate Guide" - https://www.highexistence.com/carl-jung-shadow-guide-unconscious/
  4. LinkedIn - "Uncovering Carl Jung's Shadow Self for Authentic Leadership" - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leading-from-shadows-uncovering-carl-jungs-shadow-self-rathore-pp3nf
  5. SeaPoint Center - "The Shadow Side of Leadership"  - https://seapointcenter.com/shadow-side-of-leadership/
  6. Mosaic PD - "Top 10 Most Common Behaviours Unconscious Leaders Demonstrate" - https://www.mosaicpd.com/leadership/common-behaviours-of-conscious-leaders/
  7. Growing Leaders - "Two Common Attitudes That Sabotage a Leader's Effectiveness" - https://growingleaders.com/two-common-attitudes-that-sabotage-a-leaders-effectiveness/
  8. BSN Business School - "Leadership & the Shadow Self: A Journey of Discovery" - https://www.bsn.eu/goodmorning-bsn/leadership-the-shadow-self-and-self-discovery-a-journey-within/
  9. Systemic Leadership Institute - "Inter-group shadow behaviour" - https://www.systemicleadershipinstitute.org/inter-group-shadow-behaviour/
  10. Marshall Stanton - "The Power of the Unconscious Mind in Leadership" - https://marshallstanton.com/the-power-of-the-unconscious-mind-in-leadership-c367552f0300
  11. Conscious Leadership - "When Leaders Get Scared: The Hidden Nature of Fear in Leadership" - https://conscious.is/blogs/when-leaders-get-scared-the-hidden-nature-of-fear-in-leadership
  12. LinkedIn - "The Unconscious: Shaping Leadership Behaviour" - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/unconscious-shaping-leadership-behaviour-nuala-dent-phd-bexhc
  13. LinkedIn - "Leadership Shadow Theory: A Modern Leadership Approach" - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leadership-shadow-theory-modern-approach-liz-nair
  14. Harvard Business Publishing - "2024 Global Leadership Development Study" - https://www.harvardbusiness.org/leadership-learning-insights/2024-global-leadership-development-study/
  15. Quixy - "33 Key Leadership Statistics that You Should Not Miss in 2025" - https://quixy.com/blog/statistics-on-leadership-that-you-should-not-miss/
  16. Exec Learn - "29 Eye-Opening Leadership Development Statistics 2025" - https://www.exec.com/learn/28-eye-opening-leadership-development-statistics-that-will-transform-your
  17. TestGorilla - "Leadership Development Statistics: Everything You Need to Know" - https://www.testgorilla.com/blog/leadership-development-statistics/
  18. Forbes - "How Self-Awareness Elevates Leadership Effectiveness" - https://www.forbes.com/sites/paolacecchi-dimeglio/2024/02/14/how-self-awareness-elevates-leadership-effectiveness/
  19. PMC - "Emotional intelligence, leadership, and work teams" - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10543214/
  20. SAJBM - "The influence of self-awareness on effective leadership outcomes" - https://sajbm.org/index.php/sajbm/article/view/2720/2279
  21. IvyExec - "Shadow Work to Enhance Executive Leadership Authenticity" - https://ivyexec.com/career-advice/2025/integrating-shadow-work-to-enhance-executive-leadership-authenticity
  22. Psychology Today - "Leadership Shadow Work" - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/total-self-trust/202504/leadership-shadow-work
  23. Alexandra Montgomery - "Leading a Successful Inner Team - Transform your Inner Saboteur" 35
  24. Astrid Korin Coaching - "Self-awareness in leadership" - https://www.astridkorin.com/blog/self-awareness-in-leadership

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Radical Generosity as a Leadership Model

Why Kindness Is the Ultimate Leadership Strategy for Building Resilient, Human-Centered Teams

Alright, let’s get honest for a second. Radical Generosity as a Leadership Model: Why Kindness Is the Ultimate Leadership Strategy for Building Resilient, Human-Centered Teams. That’s a mouthful, but hang with me—because this isn’t just another “be nice at work” pep talk.

Here’s the thing: somewhere between optimizing our inboxes, color-coding our calendars, and automating every last “how’s it going?”—we started treating kindness like it’s a liability. Like showing up with presence and compassion is some kind of career-limiting move. I call BS.

Let’s get real: radical generosity isn’t about handing out gold stars for participation or letting people coast. It’s about leading with an edge—being present, telling the truth, holding the line—and still leaving space for warmth and humanity. It’s about building resilient teams that don’t just survive chaos, but actually get stronger because they trust each other enough to speak up, screw up, and try again.

We’re living in a world where “let’s chat” now means “please select a time from my availability grid.” Where connection gets filtered through scheduling links and every conversation feels like a transaction. But here’s the twist: kindness is strategy. It’s the secret sauce behind psychological safety, innovation, and the kind of loyalty you can’t fake with pizza parties or ping pong tables.

So, in this post, I’m unpacking what radical generosity actually looks like in leadership—presence, compassion, edge, and all. We’ll talk frameworks for building teams rooted in truth-telling and psychological safety. I’ll share the stats, the stories, and the hard-won lessons from leading (and sometimes failing) in a world that’s obsessed with optimization.

If you’re tired of being told to “just be more efficient,” and you want to build something that lasts—something that actually matters—stick around. Because presence doesn’t get optimized. It gets felt. And kindness? It’s not weakness. It’s the strategy we’ve been missing.

Let’s get into it.


What Is Radical Generosity in Leadership?

Let’s get this out of the way: radical generosity in leadership isn’t about being a pushover, or handing out gold stars for just showing up. It’s not about being the “nice boss” who lets everyone off the hook. Nope. Radical generosity is about leading with an open hand—giving your time, your attention, your presence—without expecting a receipt or a LinkedIn endorsement in return.

But let’s be real. In a world where “let’s catch up” now means “here’s my Calendly,” even basic human connection is starting to feel like a transaction. We’ve professionalized everything, including friendship. We’ve optimized ourselves into emotional flatlines, where every interaction is a slot on a calendar and every conversation is a deliverable. It’s efficient, sure. But is it actually working for us as leaders? Or have we streamlined the soul right out of our teams?

Here’s what I see: radical generosity is the antidote to this “Calendly Culture.” It’s the decision to show up for people—sometimes inconveniently, sometimes inefficiently—because that’s where trust is built. It’s about presence. The kind that doesn’t get optimized, but gets felt. The kind that says, “You matter enough for me to just reach out,” not just, “Pick a time that works for you.”

Radical generosity in leadership is rooted in an abundance mindset. There’s enough credit to go around. Enough opportunity. Enough time to pause and ask, “How are you, really?” It’s the leader who shares the spotlight, who mentors without agenda, who makes introductions just because they can. It’s the manager who leaves space for the unplanned five-minute conversation—the one that sparks an idea or rebuilds trust.

And let’s not kid ourselves: this isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s a little messy. Sometimes, it feels “extra” in a world obsessed with efficiency. But that’s exactly why it stands out. Teams led by generous leaders don’t just get more done—they trust each other, innovate more, and stick around longer. Generosity, it turns out, is contagious. Research shows that generous acts in teams can increase prosocial behavior by nearly 278%—that’s not a typo, that’s a ripple effect.

So, what does radical generosity look like in your day-to-day leadership? It’s in the micro-moments: the unscheduled check-in, the extra context before sending a link, the willingness to listen—really listen—when everyone else is just trying to get to the next agenda item. It’s not about grand gestures. It’s about showing up, over and over, in ways that remind people they’re more than just a calendar invite.

In a world that’s optimized everything but connection, radical generosity is the ultimate leadership flex. It’s how we build teams that are resilient, human-centered, and—let’s be honest—way more fun to work with. And if that means being a little less “efficient” and a little more present? Sign me up.


Kindness Isn’t Weakness: The Strategic Power of Compassionate Leadership

Let’s talk about the elephant in the conference room: kindness. Somewhere along the way, a rumor started that kindness in leadership is just code for “soft.” Like if you show up with empathy, you’re handing out free passes or, worse, painting a target on your back for every underperformer and office cynic. I’ve heard it all—“Nice leaders finish last,” or “You can’t hug your way to quarterly results.” Cute, but also—wrong.

Here’s what most folks miss: kindness isn’t about lowering the bar or dodging tough calls. Compassionate leadership is about raising the bar and making sure people feel safe enough to reach for it. It’s not a trade-off. It’s a multiplier.

Think about it: when was the last time you felt inspired by someone who led with fear or ego? (I’ll wait.) The leaders who stick with us—the ones we’d actually follow into the trenches—are the ones who see us, challenge us, and have our backs when it counts. They give feedback that stings, but also lands, because it’s wrapped in care, not contempt.

And the data? It’s not even close. Eight out of ten people say they’re happier at work when their boss leads with kindness. Teams with compassionate leaders are more loyal, more collaborative, and—here’s the kicker—more productive. Satya Nadella didn’t turn Microsoft around by barking orders; he did it by making empathy the new operating system. Suddenly, people weren’t just showing up—they were showing up for each other.

Here’s the twist: kindness isn’t the absence of edge. It’s the presence of courage. It’s telling the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, and trusting your team enough to handle it. It’s holding people accountable because you believe in them, not because you want to catch them slipping. That’s the real power move.

So, next time someone tells you kindness is a liability, smile and keep leading. Because kindness isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. And honestly? It’s the only kind of leadership that lasts.


Building Psychological Safety and Truth-Telling in Teams

Let’s get something straight: if your team can’t tell the truth, you’re not leading—you’re just managing a group of people who are quietly updating their résumés. Psychological safety isn’t some fluffy HR buzzword; it’s the bedrock of every resilient, high-performing team I’ve ever seen. And yet, only about a quarter of leaders actually make it a priority. Wild, right?

Here’s the deal: psychological safety is that invisible force field where people feel safe to speak up, admit mistakes, and toss out wild ideas without worrying they’ll get roasted in the next meeting. It’s the difference between a team that innovates and a team that plays it safe, nodding along while secretly thinking, “This is never going to work.”

Want the stats? Teams with high psychological safety have 76% more engagement and a 27% lower risk of turnover. That’s not a rounding error—that’s a culture shift. And when leaders invest in it, the ROI is off the charts (try 230% returns, if you’re into numbers).

But here’s the rub: you can’t just slap a “safe space” sticker on your team and call it a day. You have to earn it, over and over. It starts with you. Admit when you’re wrong. Thank people for disagreeing with you (even when it stings). Celebrate the person who spots the problem before it blows up, not just the one who delivers the good news. Remember, Google’s legendary Project Aristotle found that psychological safety—not Ivy League diplomas or 80-hour weeks—was the secret sauce behind their best teams.

Truth-telling isn’t always comfortable, but it’s always strategic. When you create space for real talk, you don’t just avoid “La La Land” leadership—you actually get to the heart of what’s working and what’s not. And trust me, your team will thank you for it. Maybe not right away, but when the chips are down and someone finally says, “Here’s what’s really going on,” you’ll know you built something real.

So, next time you’re tempted to gloss over the tough stuff, pause. Invite the awkward silence. Ask the question nobody wants to ask. That’s how you build a team that doesn’t just survive change—they run toward it, together. That’s radical generosity in action. And honestly? It’s the only way I want to lead.


Balancing Presence, Accountability, and Edge as a Leader

Let’s be honest—being “present” as a leader sounds like one of those things you read on a motivational mug, right? But real presence? It’s gritty. It’s inconvenient. It’s the difference between showing up for a meeting and actually showing up for your people. There’s a reason folks remember the leader who looked them in the eye and listened, not the one who multitasked their way through another Zoom call.

But presence alone isn’t enough. If all you do is nod along and hand out high-fives, you’re running a pep rally, not a team. Radical generosity means you bring the edge, too. You set the bar high, you hold people to it, and you don’t shy away from the tough stuff. Because here’s the secret: people crave accountability. Not the “gotcha” kind, but the kind that says, “I see your potential, and I’m not letting you coast.”

Think about the best leaders you’ve worked with. They didn’t sugarcoat. They gave feedback that stung a little, but you knew it came from a place of belief, not criticism. That’s compassionate accountability. It’s clarity without cruelty. It’s saying, “You missed the mark, but I’m right here with you to figure out what’s next.”

And let’s talk about edge. Edge is what keeps kindness from turning into mush. It’s what makes your compassion credible. Mary Barra at GM? She’s known for her warmth, but she’s also relentless about standards. Jacinda Ardern led with empathy—and made the hard calls when it mattered most. That’s the sweet spot: warmth plus backbone.

So, how do you balance it? You show up, fully. You listen, even when it’s uncomfortable. You hold the line, even when it would be easier to let it slide. And you do it all with just enough edge that people know you care enough to challenge them.

Presence. Accountability. Edge. It’s not always pretty, but it’s what makes radical generosity work in the real world. And if you ask me, it’s the only way to lead a team that’s not just good, but unbreakable.


Human-Centered Leadership in a Hyper-Optimized World

Let’s be real—when did leadership become a spreadsheet? Somewhere between the rise of “productivity hacks” and the cult of the calendar invite, we started treating people like widgets. We’re so busy optimizing every minute that we’ve forgotten how to actually see each other. Don’t get me wrong—efficiency is great for your inbox, but it’s a terrible substitute for trust.

Here’s the thing: human-centered leadership is the ultimate act of rebellion in a world obsessed with optimization. It’s choosing to put intention and warmth back into every interaction, even when it feels inefficient. It’s the leader who adds a line of context before sending a link, who picks up the phone instead of firing off another Slack, who leaves space for the conversation that wasn’t on the agenda.

You want innovation? You want teams that actually stick around when things get tough? You don’t get there by shaving five minutes off every meeting. You get there by making people feel like they matter. Presence isn’t a productivity metric—it’s a felt experience. And trust me, your team knows the difference between “just checking in” and actually caring.

We’ve all seen what happens when connection gets replaced by convenience. Engagement drops, creativity tanks, and suddenly everyone’s just going through the motions, waiting for the next reorg. But when you lead with a human touch—when you make time for the “inefficient” moments—something shifts. People open up. Ideas flow. Problems get solved before they turn into fire drills.

So, yeah, you could keep optimizing. Or you could be the leader who remembers that business is, at its core, a human sport. Human-centered leadership isn’t just nice—it’s necessary. It’s how you build teams that are resilient, adaptable, and, let’s be honest, a whole lot more fun to work with.

In a world that’s trying to automate the soul out of work, be the glitch in the matrix. Be the leader who brings the human back.


From Transactional to Transformational: Creating a Culture of Generosity at Work

Let’s call it out: most workplaces run on transactions. You do X, you get Y. Meetings are checklists, recognition is a badge on Slack, and “team building” is a quarterly pizza party where everyone’s still checking their phones. It’s efficient, sure. But does anyone actually feel inspired by it? Didn’t think so.

Here’s the shift: transformational cultures aren’t built on tit-for-tat. They’re built on radical generosity—leaders giving without keeping score, teams helping each other because it’s who they are, not because it’s written in some dusty HR manual. When generosity is the default, trust becomes the currency. People start sharing ideas, not just updates. They look out for each other, not just themselves.

And it’s not magic. It’s modeling. If you want a generous culture, you have to go first. That means sharing credit, even when you could hog the spotlight. Making introductions or offering mentorship, no strings attached. It’s the tiny, daily acts that add up—like leaving space for someone’s idea to breathe, or celebrating the person who took a risk (even if it didn’t pan out).

Want a framework? Try CARE:

  • Clarity—be transparent about what matters and why.
  • Autonomy—give people room to own their work.
  • Relationships—make space for real connection, not just status updates.
  • Equity—share opportunities, not just tasks.

The ripple effect is real. Generosity is contagious—one study found that a single generous act can increase prosocial behavior in teams by nearly 278%. That’s not just a feel-good stat; that’s a culture shift.

So, the next time you’re tempted to default to “just business,” pause. Ask yourself: what would generosity look like right now? Maybe it’s a word of encouragement. Maybe it’s letting someone else take the lead. Maybe it’s just listening, no agenda.

Transformational cultures aren’t built in a day. But every generous act is a brick in the foundation. Start small. Go first. Watch what happens.


Frequently Asked Questions: Radical Generosity as a Leadership Model

Alright, let’s get into the stuff people actually ask—usually after the meeting, when the slides are closed and the real talk starts. Radical generosity sounds great, but I know you’ve got questions. So let’s go there:


“Isn’t kindness just asking to be taken advantage of?”

Short answer: not if you’re doing it right. Radical generosity isn’t about rolling over or saying yes to everything. It’s kindness with boundaries—generosity that’s rooted in clarity and respect. You can be generous and still say “no.” In fact, sometimes that’s the most generous thing you can do for everyone involved.


“What if my team rolls their eyes at this stuff?”

Change is awkward. People are skeptical, especially if they’ve been burned by “culture initiatives” before. The key? Consistency. Model generosity. Celebrate it when you see it. And don’t force it—invite it. Over time, even the skeptics start to notice when the vibe shifts from transactional to genuine.


“How do I start building a culture of generosity if I’m not the CEO?”

You don’t need a fancy title to lead with generosity. Start with your circle—your team, your peers, your daily interactions. Offer help without an agenda. Share credit. Listen, really listen. Culture is contagious. One person can start a ripple. (And yeah, sometimes that’s all it takes.)


“Can you share a time when generosity changed your team?”

Absolutely. I’ve seen teams transform when one person chose to mentor a struggling colleague instead of competing with them. Suddenly, the whole group started sharing resources, ideas, even failures. The result? More trust, more creativity, less drama. Generosity is the ultimate team accelerant.


“What’s the long-term payoff here?”

Beyond the warm fuzzies? Teams with high psychological safety and generosity report higher engagement, lower turnover, and way more resilience when things get tough. You get loyalty you can’t buy with perks, and innovation you can’t fake with slogans. That’s a legacy, not just a quarterly win.


“What if I mess up?”

Spoiler: you will. We all do. The magic is in owning it, apologizing, and trying again. That’s radical generosity, too—giving yourself (and others) a little grace.

Got more questions? Drop them in the comments or send me a note. This conversation is way bigger than one blog post. And if you’re reading this, you’re already halfway there.


Bringing It Home

Let’s land this thing where it started: with a simple truth—kindness isn’t weakness. Radical generosity isn’t some “nice to have” in leadership; it’s the strategy that actually changes things. Not just for your team, but for you, too.

We’re living in a world that’s optimized the soul right out of connection. Every conversation is a slot, every check-in is a transaction, and even friendship feels like a booking request. But here’s the twist: when you lead with presence, compassion, and a little edge, you’re not just making people feel good—you’re building trust, resilience, and a team that’s willing to go the distance with you.

It’s easy to default to efficiency. It’s harder—and way more powerful—to choose presence. To be the one who listens, who gives without keeping score, who holds the line with clarity and care. To show up, even when it’s inconvenient. That’s radical generosity in action, and it’s the only thing I’ve seen that consistently turns groups into teams and work into meaning.

You want innovation? Loyalty? A culture that can weather storms and still laugh together at the end of the week? Don’t just optimize. Humanize. Build in the “inefficient” moments. Celebrate the small acts of generosity. Make space for the conversations that don’t fit on a calendar invite. That’s where the magic happens.

And yeah, you’ll mess it up sometimes. You’ll get busy, you’ll forget, you’ll default to the link instead of the call. Welcome to being human. The point isn’t perfection—it’s intention. It’s coming back, again and again, to the choice to lead with heart.

So, if you take one thing from this: let kindness be your strategy. Let generosity be your edge. And when in doubt, reach out—not because you need something, but because you can. That’s how we bring the human back, one imperfect, generous act at a time.

Now, go make it weird. Go make it real. Let’s build something that lasts.

#

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References

Friday, May 16, 2025

Calendly Culture: Are We Scheduling Ourselves Out of Connection?

Here’s something that hit me recently—harder than I expected.

I started reaching out to old colleagues. People I used to just call. You know… ring them up, say hey, chat a bit, maybe spark a new opportunity or two.

Instead, I got links.

Here’s my Calendly.
Schedule a 15-minute slot.
Pick a time that works for you.

Just… click here to feel like an obligation on my calendar.

Look, I get it. We’re all busy. Calendly is efficient. I use it too. But let’s be real: when did catching up with a human start feeling like booking a root canal?

That moment triggered something deeper for me—a realization about how we’ve professionalized everything, including friendship. Connection is being filtered through tools designed for efficiency, and somewhere along the way, the actual human part is getting edited out.

I want to unpack that. Not to bash tech—I love automation when it serves—but to ask some real questions:

👉 Have we over-optimized the way we connect?
👉 Is convenience costing us warmth, trust, maybe even opportunities?
👉 And what does it mean when relationships get reduced to calendar slots?

This isn’t a rant. It’s a reflection. Maybe even a little wake-up call—for me, for you, for all of us navigating this weird digital dance where every conversation starts with a link.

Let’s talk about Calendly Culture, and why it might be time to bring a little humanity back to the schedule.

From Cold Calls to Calendar Links: The Evolution of Professional Networking

There was a time—not that long ago—when “let’s catch up” actually meant catching up.

You’d dial someone up, maybe leave a voicemail if they didn’t answer (remember those?), and the next thing you know you’re deep in a conversation that meanders from work to life to that random YouTube video you both saw back in 2014. No friction. No formality. No “please select a time from my availability grid.”

Now? You send a message and—boom—you get a Calendly link. No shade to the tool itself; it’s slick, sure. But it also signals something else: This isn’t a friendship, it’s a booking request.

Let’s zoom out for a sec. Professional networking used to have texture. It was fluid, spontaneous, sometimes a little messy—and that was the magic. Today, it’s optimized, templated, and timestamped. Everyone’s operating like their time is a startup pitch, and you’re just another meeting request in the queue.

Somewhere between remote work going mainstream and “time-blocking” becoming a religion, we stopped leaving space for unstructured connection. And honestly? That shift might be more costly than we realize.

It’s not just about nostalgia for phone calls or walking meetings. It’s about trust. About those little micro-moments that only happen when we’re not watching the clock or glancing at our calendars every five minutes.

And here’s the thing: the tools we’ve built to protect our time? They’re quietly reshaping how we value each other’s. When every interaction has to pass through a scheduling filter, we’re not just removing friction—we’re removing the signal that says, “You matter enough for me to just reach out.

So yeah, we’ve evolved. We’ve streamlined. But in that evolution, we’ve also sterilized a part of what makes professional relationships work: the human part.

The question is… are we okay with that?

Why “Let’s Chat” Now Requires a Scheduling App

Let’s be honest—when someone drops a Calendly link into a casual conversation, it’s got a vibe. And not always the warm, fuzzy kind.

I know, I know. People mean well. It’s convenient. We’re all juggling ten thousand things. But still—when the response to “Hey, let’s catch up” is “Here’s a link to book me,” it hits a little… transactional, doesn’t it?

It’s like saying, “Sure, I’m open to connecting… if you can pass through my scheduling firewall first.

And yeah, I get the other side too. Calendly was born out of chaos. Back-and-forth emails, missed time zones, meetings that never happened. Scheduling links cleaned that up. But in cleaning it up, they kind of cleaned out the soul of it too.

There’s a subtle power dynamic embedded in these tools. When you send someone your link—especially someone who knows you—it can unintentionally signal, "I'm the one in demand here. You do the legwork." And suddenly, what could’ve been an easy “grab five minutes?” now feels like applying for a time slot at the DMV.

It’s a weird shift, especially among people who used to just text you a time or randomly call you while walking their dog.

And maybe this is just how things work now. Maybe everyone’s just trying to protect their bandwidth and avoid burnout. I respect that. But when even the most human interactions get outsourced to an app… something gets lost.

Warmth. Spontaneity. That unspoken message of, “Hey, you matter enough for me to meet you halfway.

So yeah—Calendly has its place. I’m not saying we should all go back to cold-calling each other at random like it’s 2009. But there’s a difference between using a tool for efficiency and letting it define how we value a relationship.

Because if “let’s chat” now requires filling out a form and finding an open Tuesday in three weeks… we’re not really chatting anymore, are we?

The Hidden Cost of Efficiency: Losing the Human Touch

Let’s talk about the thing nobody really says out loud:

We’ve optimized ourselves into emotional flatlines.

Yeah, it’s great that we can schedule a meeting in 30 seconds with zero back-and-forth. But you know what also got deleted in that speedrun?

The “Hey, how are things really going?”

The pause.

The vibe check.

The chance to be more than just a line item on someone’s Outlook Calendar.

Efficiency is addictive. I get it. I love a good time-blocked flow state as much as anyone. But the more we automate the connective tissue between us, the more brittle it becomes. That little bit of friction—reaching out, asking someone if now's a good time, sensing the energy on the other end—it used to be a feature, not a bug.

Now? We’ve smoothed it all out. Conversations are templated. Outreach feels scripted. Half the time it’s an AI assistant setting things up on someone’s behalf. Like, damn—can I just talk to you, not your robot?

There’s something deeply human in those “inefficient” moments we’ve engineered out. The spontaneous check-in. The unplanned 30-minute rabbit hole. The moment someone opens up because the conversation wasn’t rigidly time-boxed.

And look, I’m not saying throw away your tools. I use them too. But let’s not pretend they’re neutral. When we default to structure over sincerity, we send a message—even if we don’t mean to:

"I’ve optimized everything… including you."

That sounds harsh. Maybe even a little dramatic. But think about it: when’s the last time you had a real conversation that wasn’t framed by a countdown timer?

We’re so focused on protecting our time, we’ve started commodifying the people in it. And the cost? It’s not just missed connection—it’s trust. Depth. Momentum. All the things that don’t show up in a productivity report but make the difference between good networking and real relationships.

So yeah—efficiency gets results. But connection builds legacies.

Are We Optimizing Ourselves Out of Meaningful Conversations?

At some point, the lines between productivity and disconnection got blurry.

I mean, we’re all optimizing, right? Time-blocking. Stacking tools. Automating workflows. Hell, I’ve got peptides for brain performance and a PEMF mat to recover while I sleep. So trust me—I love a good optimization loop.

But here’s the thing I keep bumping into:

When everything’s optimized, where does the meaning go?

We’ve started treating connection like a KPI. Every call has to have an agenda. Every conversation needs a deliverable. Every invite gets boiled down to: “What’s the ask?

And sure—there’s a place for that. Not every convo needs to be a soul dive. But if every interaction gets flattened into a slot on a calendar, we start stripping away the unpredictability—the humanity—that actually fuels trust, collaboration, even innovation.

Here’s a weird analogy, but roll with me:

In biohacking, we know not all stress is bad. Some friction—hormesis—is good. It triggers adaptation. Growth. Resilience.

Well, conversation’s kind of like that too. A little spontaneity? A little discomfort? That’s where the magic happens.

But when we optimize every inch of our communication flow for “efficiency,” we rob ourselves of that adaptive space. No randomness. No misfires. No breakthroughs.

We’re so focused on not wasting time that we forget the best stuff in life usually shows up unplanned.

Think about it—some of your best ideas, most important friendships, most pivotal collaborations… they didn’t come from a scheduled 15-minute Zoom call. They came from the extra five minutes. The unfiltered laugh. The question that came after the meeting ended.

So yeah, optimize your inbox. Sync your calendars. Use the tools. But don’t forget—your most valuable asset isn’t your time.

It’s your presence.

And presence doesn’t get optimized. It gets felt.

Bringing Back Warmth: Human-Centered Networking in a Digital World

Alright—so if Calendly isn't the villain and tech’s not the enemy, where do we go from here?

We adapt. We upgrade the way we use the tools, not just the tools themselves.

Because the solution isn’t to burn your calendar app or start cold-calling people like it’s 1998 (though, low-key, a random voice memo might hit different these days). It’s about layering back in what got lost—warmth, intention, humanity.

It’s about the how, not just the when.

So here’s what I’ve been experimenting with—and honestly, it’s made a difference:

  • Instead of just dropping a link, I’ll add a line of context first. Something like, “Would love to catch up. Totally get how busy things are—here’s my link, but happy to work around your schedule if that feels better.” That one sentence? Shifts the whole vibe. Now it’s a conversation, not a command.
  • Sometimes I skip the link altogether and just send a quick voice note. 30 seconds. No calendar needed. Just, “Hey, thinking about you. Want to connect?” It hits different. Especially now, when people are drowning in cold DMs and LinkedIn spam.
  • And if I’m really trying to nurture a relationship? I’ll drop a custom video message. Doesn’t need to be fancy. Just authentic. Just... human.

Because here’s the truth: Human-centered networking isn’t about more effort—it’s about more presence. It’s that pause before hitting send. That two-sentence note that says, “I see you, not just your title.”

You don’t have to fake warmth. You just have to stop outsourcing it.

And yeah, in a world of hyper-productivity and auto-everything, showing up like this might feel “extra.”

But you know what? That’s the exact reason it stands out.

People don’t remember the perfect pitch. They remember how you made them feel.

So let’s not ditch the tools. Let’s wield them differently—like someone who knows the value of time but never forgets the value of people.

Wrapping Things Up: Making Space for Serendipity Again

So yeah… maybe this whole post started with a few Calendly links. But really, it’s about something bigger.

It’s about noticing how we’ve slowly replaced connection with coordination. How spontaneity got replaced with structured availability. How we turned “let’s catch up” into something that requires three clicks, two confirmations, and a reminder email just to make it onto someone’s radar.

We didn’t mean for it to get like this. But here we are.

Again, I’m not saying we torch our tools or go full analog. I’m just saying… maybe we leave a little room in our lives for the unexpected. A little white space between the blocks on our calendar.

Because you know what no app can replicate?

  • That unplanned conversation that sparks an idea.
  • That unscheduled call that rebuilds trust.
  • That casual message that opens a door neither of you even knew was there.

Serendipity needs space. And space doesn’t always show up in a 30-minute time slot.

So as we keep navigating this fast, AI-augmented, hyper-efficient digital world, maybe the real flex… is staying human.

Maybe it’s bringing warmth back into the cold parts of our workflows.

Maybe it’s letting presence win over productivity once in a while.

Maybe it’s reaching out not because you need something… but because you just felt like it.

So here’s my ask: this week, reach out to someone without a link. No agenda. No calendar invite. Just check in. Say something real. Make it weird, even.

Let’s bring the human back.


Thursday, August 29, 2024

10 Years with Kanban: A Journey of Simplicity

A decade ago, I was introduced to a tool that would revolutionize how I approach work—Kanban. I started with Trello, moved through GitHub, and now I’ve integrated it into Notion. Over these years, I’ve come to realize that Kanban is more than just a productivity hack; it’s a philosophy of work management that remains as relevant in 2024 as it was when it first took shape.

What is Kanban?

At its core, Kanban is a visual system for managing work as it moves through a process. Originating from Toyota’s manufacturing line in the 1940s, Kanban was designed to improve efficiency and reduce waste by visualizing workflow and limiting work in progress (WIP). The word "Kanban" literally means "signboard" or "billboard" in Japanese, reflecting its emphasis on clear, visual communication.

But let’s strip away the jargon. Kanban is simply about making your work visible. It’s about knowing what’s being worked on, what’s up next, and what’s been completed. This visibility drives focus and clarity, helping you to prioritize effectively and avoid the chaos of multitasking.

How to Kanban: The Basics

Whether you’re leading a team or managing your own workload, Kanban can be a game-changer. Here’s how to get started:

  1. Visualize Your Workflow: Start by mapping out the steps your work typically goes through—from the moment a task is conceived to its completion. In Trello, GitHub, Notion, or any other tool, this usually involves creating columns that represent different stages like "To Do," "In Progress," and "Done." For individuals, think of these columns as your personal task pipeline. By visualizing your tasks, you turn your workload into something tangible, making it easier to track progress and identify what needs your attention.
  2. Limit Work in Progress (WIP): One of Kanban’s most powerful principles is limiting the number of tasks in progress at any given time. This focus prevents the cognitive overload of juggling too many things at once and pushes you towards completion before starting something new. As an individual, a good rule of thumb is to limit yourself to 1 to 3 "In Progress" tasks at a time. This way, you stay focused and ensure that each task receives the attention it deserves, ultimately leading to higher quality work and less stress.
  3. Prioritize What Moves from "To Do" to "In Progress": With your WIP limits in place, the next crucial step is prioritization. Not every task in your "To Do" column carries the same weight or urgency, so it’s essential to determine which tasks should move into "In Progress" first. To do this, consider factors such as deadlines, the importance of the task, the potential impact, and any dependencies that might affect other tasks. By prioritizing effectively, you ensure that your most critical or high-impact tasks are addressed first, allowing you to maximize your productivity and achieve your goals more efficiently.
  4. Manage Flow: Managing flow is about ensuring that tasks move smoothly from one stage to the next without unnecessary delays. Picture your workflow as a pipeline: tasks should move steadily through it, like water through a pipe. When a task reaches the "Done" column, it creates a vacuum or open space in your workflow. This space is crucial because it signals that you’re ready to take on a new task from your "To Do" list. By continuously monitoring this flow, you can identify and address any bottlenecks—points where tasks are getting stuck or moving too slowly. The goal is a smooth, steady flow of tasks, ensuring that your personal productivity remains high and that you’re always moving forward.
  5. Make Process Policies Explicit: Clarity is key in Kanban, even when working alone. To avoid confusion and ensure consistency in how you handle your tasks, define and agree on the rules for moving tasks between stages. For instance, you might decide that a task can only move from "To Do" to "In Progress" if it’s clearly defined and you have the necessary resources to complete it. By making these rules explicit, you create a personal workflow that’s predictable and efficient, helping you avoid unnecessary delays and ensuring steady progress.
  6. Implement Feedback Loops: Continuous improvement is at the heart of Kanban. Regularly review your Kanban board to assess what’s working and what isn’t. This is where feedback loops come into play. Set aside time for personal reflection—whether daily, weekly, or monthly—to analyze your workflow, identify any recurring issues, and brainstorm ways to improve. For example, if you notice that certain tasks consistently get stuck in "In Progress," you might need to adjust your WIP limits or tweak your approach to those tasks. The goal of feedback loops is to foster a habit of continuous improvement, ensuring that your personal productivity continues to grow over time.

Now, let’s step outside the conventional wisdom. Most people view Kanban as a tool for software development or manufacturing, but its principles are universal. Whether you’re leading a team, managing your own work, or even balancing personal projects, Kanban’s adaptability makes it incredibly powerful across various domains.

What’s often overlooked is Kanban’s potential to foster not just efficiency, but intentionality. In a world obsessed with doing more, Kanban teaches us the value of doing less, better. It’s a reminder that productivity isn’t about how much we can cram into our day but about making meaningful progress on the things that truly matter.

Why You Should Kanban

In 2024, where the pace of work and life continues to accelerate, Kanban offers a counterbalance. It’s a simple yet profound approach to work management that encourages focus, clarity, and continuous improvement. By making your work visible, limiting distractions, and fostering intentional progress, Kanban can transform how you approach both your professional and personal life.

If you haven’t tried Kanban yet, or if you’ve been using it only in a narrow context, I challenge you to expand your perspective. Think of Kanban not just as a productivity tool but as a way to bring more intentionality and purpose into your work. It’s more than just moving cards across a board; it’s about mastering the flow of your life’s work.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Pwned Passwords

On February 22, 2018, Troy Hunt released the V2 update to Pwned Passwords.

Pwned Passwords is a service that checks to see if any of your passwords have been leaked in any third-party security breaches. Troy also provided a new API that allows you to lookup a password by using its hash. That means you don't have to send over the password that you want to check.

I created a short Python script that performs the check against the API. It'll hash your password on your local system and check the hash for you against api.pwnedpasswords.com.

The code repository can be found on github.

As an example, here I'm checking for  `password` as the password. In this example, Over 3 million accounts have been found from third-party breaches using the weak password of `password`.


Monday, February 6, 2012

Retrieving a Stolen iPhone in Under 72 Hours

Image representing iPhone as depicted in streamingmedia.com
Image via streamingmedia.com

Within 53 hours I was able to get a stolen iPhone safely into police custody. Here's a rough timeline of the steps I went took to get the phone back to the rightful owner:


Saturday, 2/4/2012 @ 8:45 AM -- iPhone was "lost" (i.e., stolen).
  • Called stolen iPhone and it rang four times before going to voicemail, suggesting that it was powered on and had reception. Used the "Find iPhone" app to locate the phone using the Apple ID credentials of the stolen iPhone, but it was unable locate the phone.
  • Using the "Find iPhone" app, sent lock code to stolen iPhone to ensure that it was locked and required an unlock code to access the phone.
  • Using the "Find iPhone" app, sent messages with sound to the stolen iPhone stating that the phone was lost and to call ###-###-#### (my Google Voice number). No response.
  • Shortly thereafter the iPhone was powered down by the "someone" who had possession of the phone.
  • I had the owner of the stolen iPhone change passwords to accounts accessed by the iPhone (e.g., Gmail, Dropbox, etc).
  • Setup the email account used as the Apple ID of the stolen iPhone to forward a copy of all mail from "noreply@me.com" to an account I setup at Boxcar. The reason for doing this was to have push notifications sent to my phone moments after the stolen iPhone would be powered on and receive the commands that I sent from the "Find iPhone" app.
    • There's a Boxcar iOS app that I installed on the device that I was doing the tracking from.
  • Opted not to report the phone as stolen with AT&T yet since I wanted to be able to continue tracking the phone. 
  • Also opted not to remotely wipe the iPhone via the "Find iPhone" app for the same reason.
  • The "Erase all data on iPhone after 10 failed passcode attempts" option was turned off on the iPhone. This was a good thing since it prevented the stolen iPhone from being wiped by 10 failed passcode entries and becoming un-trackable. 

Sunday, 2/5/2012 @ 10:00 AM -- the iPhone was powered on by "someone" and the location of the phone was identified.
  • I received a push notification from Boxcar showing that an email from noreply@me.com was received. That meant that the stolen iPhone was powered on and was now locatable.
  • Used both the "Find iPhone" and "Find Friends" iPhone apps by Apple to track the location of the phone.
    • Another option was logging into iCloud with the Apple ID and password associated with the stolen iPhone ... which I did.
  • Location of the phone tracked to a residential address.
  • Used Google maps and street view to look at the house.
  • Identified the owner of the house using PropertyShark.
  • Gathered information about the owner using Intelius.
  • Again, sent messages with sound to the stolen iPhone stating that the phone was lost and to call ###-###-#### (my Google Voice number). No response.
  • The phone was powered down by the "someone" who had possession of the phone roughly five minutes after it was powered on.
  • Checked AT&T for any unauthorized calls. There were no unauthorized calls.
  • A police report was submitted online to the police department where the phone was stolen. 
    • The police department where the phone was currently located (different city than where the phone was stolen) would not accept a report directly since the theft occurred in a different city.

Monday, 2/6/2012 @ 10:46 AM -- the iPhone was powered on and left on.
  • Using both the "Find iPhone" and "Find Friends" apps, the GPS location of the stolen iPhone was the same address as the address that was identified on Sunday.
  • A police report was submitted online to the police department. The location of theft was intentionally left vague, implying that the theft occurred in the city where the phone was currently being tracked to. The police department was willing to accept the incident report.

Monday, 2/6/2012 @ 1:04 PM -- Called the records and dispatch departments of the PD from the city where the stolen iPhone was currently located.
  • Gave the incident report tracking number to dispatch.
  • After a lengthy conversation, dispatch agreed to send an officer to the house and that the officer would call me back if I needed to cause the stolen iPhone to make a sound.

Monday, 2/6/2012 @ 1:36 PM -- Received a call from the responding officer.
  • The police officer stated that he went to the residential address.
  • The officer stated that the owners of the house were at the residence.
  • The police officer gained possession of the phone.
  • The police officer asked me for the unlock code and some contact data that was on the phone to verify ownership.
  • The officer relayed the convoluted story that the individual who had stolen the iPhone told him.
  • We agreed to check the phone into the police department's chain-of-custody and the stolen iPhone will be picked up by the rightful owner soon.
  • Called the police department from where the phone was stolen, stated that the iPhone was retrieved by another police department, and the case was closed.
... and that's a happy ending.

Apple has more information about locating a lost or stolen iPhone here.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Koobface Analysis

Today Facebook announced that it will share the data it has collected about the group of people behind the Koobface virus. Facebook didn't provide any details about the "Koobface gang". However, in a separate blog post independent researchers Jan Drömer and Dirk Kollberg of SophosLabs did provide details of their analysis. I found the SophosLabs article a very interesting read in that it details the painstakingly slow process investigators must endure to piece security incidents together and that given enough time and resources "cybercrimes" can be solved.

"Up until now, Drömer and Kollberg's research has been a closely-guarded secret, known only to a select few in the computer security community and shared with various law enforcement agencies around the globe" ... "At the police's request we have kept the information confidential, but last week news began to leak onto the internet about Anton 'Krotreal' Korotchenko - meaning the cat was well and truly out of the bag." -- Graham Cluley, Sophos analyst
Link to Analysis: http://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/koobface/